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The following short story is brand new as of today. I refrained from posting what I wrote yesterday because I think it was more of a brainstorming activity.
It was December.
I stood there staring at the shed door. It was almost 5 Am. My legs began to tremble so violently I thought I might fall, but I didn’t. Instead, I held my breath to avoid sucking in the sharp winter air and prayed Emily didn’t wake up early. I’d have to drive her to school in two hours so I had to work fast.
I reached into my fur-lined bomber jacket and grabbed the key. It felt like ice. I took a step forward and played with the lock, working the cold metals together hoping to create enough friction to melt the sliver of ice packed inside. I had nearly rendered the key useless before it slid home. After freeing the lock, I opened the door to find my beauty exactly as I left him. He was sleeping now, maybe even dead. I wasn’t sure nor did I care. All I knew was his body would still be warm from the heat lamps.
I shucked off my pants and peeled off my shirt. My balls shrunk up into my belly, but my cock was already getting hard. I gave the boy a light smack, “wake up.”
He didn’t move. I brought my fist above my head and landed it on his cheekbone. He flinched back and grimaced.
“Hey! There’s my sweet boy. For a second I thought you expired.” I lifted his head up by his hair and brought my shaft against his lips. “Suck,” I said.
“Please,” the boy whispered.
“I can’t hear you? Speak up!”
“I can’t. I feel so sick.”
I laughed before knocking out another one of his teeth. “Watch those teeth. Now get to it, we don’t have much time.”
The boy just hung from his chains, face-to-face with my throbbing member. He was starting to fall back asleep.
“I swear to god,” I said, “If you keep me waiting one more second I’ll kill your entire family.”
The boy did was he was told. I closed my eyes and thought about the trouble I’d be in when I got to work. I was supposed to set up a meeting between the partners and our newest client. It was a big case and we had a chance of winning if the client was willing to spend lots of money, which she had.
After I finished, I put my clothes back on and turned up the heat lamps. The boy wasn’t blistering enough. However, his lips were chapped enough to add more pleasure.
“I’ll be back before you know it,” I said.
“Could I have some water?”
“I can’t hear you. What’d I tell you about speaking up?”
The boy swallowed. “Can I please…. have just one drink of water.”
“Of course!” I said.
I unzipped my pants once again and shot a stream of piss at his face. The boy writhed and spit the urine all over the place. I said, “You should probably swallow some of that. It’s good for ya.”
When I finally stepped out and locked the shed, I noticed Emily’s bedroom light was one. Perfect timing. I walked around the side of the house to the mailbox to get the paper, until I saw red and blue lights. I froze. They weren’t turned on, but they didn’t have to be. Anyone in their right mind could tell it was a cop car.
It was Desmond, one of the local sheriffs.
“Mornin’,” he said.
I smiled. “It’s too damn cold if you ask me. I been living here 35 years and still can’t stand this weather.”
“Well why don’t you do us both a favor and move?” Desmond said.
I laughed. “But if I leave, who’ll fuck your wife?”
Desmond laughed even harder and said, “Watch yourself you sly bastard. I could beat the shit out of you with my night stick and still have my job in the morning!”
“Ain’t that the truth you fucking pig.” I grabbed the paper and began scanning the front page. “Any suspects yet for the Omaha kid?”
Desmond cocked an eyebrow. “Why else do you think I’m here?”
I could feel the slightest tremble travel from my toes to the tips of my fingers. My balls shrunk further into my belly. “What’re you saying, Des?”
Desmond unclipped the holster of his gun. “How long have I known you, Mitch?”
I blinked several times before I could answer. “We grew up together. ‘Bout 30 years I’d say.”
“You’re damn right.” Desmond took a few steps towards me and got so close I could smell the strawberry danish on his breath. “30 years I known you and in 30 years I got to know you pretty damn well.”
I couldn’t breathe. “You got something to tell me? Tell me now goddammit.”
Desmond unholstered his .40 cal S&W and pressed the tip of the barrel under my chin. “I woke up this morning thinkin’ it was gonna be a pretty shitty day after I knew I had to roll up to your place and see your ugly mug.”
He turned the safety off. “Are you outta your god damn mind?” I said.
Desmond smiled, the bottoms of his teeth black from years of chewing tobacco. “That makes two of us, don’t it? Of course we don’t have a fuckin’ suspect,” he said putting his gun back in its holster. “If we did, I wouldn’t be here.”
“You’re just tryin’ to get your fuck on?” I asked.
“Like I said, I woke up thinkin’ it was gonna be a shitty day. Make it better for me. Where’s that little pretty boy? Still out back?”
Desmond made his way to the shed.
“Hang on a sec,” I said.
Desmond stopped and turned towards me. I tossed him the key. “The padlock’s tricky, gotta give it some muscle.” I gave him a wink.
I went into the house and started a pot of coffee. I went upstairs to find Emily brushing her teeth. “Good morning, sweetie,” I said kissing her head.
“Daddy, why do your friends keep going into our shed?”
I laughed and shook my head. “Baby girl, I’ll tell you when you’re older.”
Watching yourself bleed out is a surreal experience. Imagine the endless bright red arterial bursts spraying your face and clothes. You can’t cover the wound with a tissue, that’s obvious. So you reach for the hand towel. Within 5 seconds it’s completely soaked and the blood drips in a steady stream off the corner. You place another towel over the wound and apply pressure. You soon find yourself in a cold sweat, short of breath, and trying as hard as you can to keep your eyes open.
You’re so tired. The wound shoots the blood in all directions. Crumbling to the floor, you try to cry. But you can’t; you’re already dead.
Red lights, blue lights. The crackle of a radio. You watch the paramedic’s lips move,
“Another one. Call it in, Ted”
Ted pockets a small notepad before grabbing the radio, “We’ve got a 10-40 from what looks like a 10-49. Loading the body before en route to Bellevue General.”
I watched them carefully move my body into the signature black body bag we’ve all seen a hundred times. One of them looked at me and said, “What’re you doing? Don’t just stand there! Give us a hand.”
Just before I could react, another paramedic passed right through me. I didn’t feel anything, but seeing it happen almost made me laugh. After they loaded me into the back of the ambulance, I decided to wander around the neighborhood.
I walked past Ken and Susan’s mailbox and stared up into one of the lit windows. Susan was staring out at me. Her and I used to get along. I would sometimes babysit her dogs and take them for walks and she’d pay me piles of cash. But ever since I’ve been home from prison she acts like she’s afraid of me. I wonder if she’s scared right now. I hope so.
There’s an old man who lives across the street from me. He molested his granddaughter. Every time I went outside to check the mail he’d be sitting in a lawn chair with the radio on listening to the game. On hot days when you’d want to open a window, you could always hear the commentary blasting through those little speakers. The poor guy was nearly deaf. There was a rumor that he videotaped the rape he committed. The state tried charging him with distributing child pornography but they never found any evidence so the charges were dropped. I’ve always wanted to see that videotape.
His front door was unlocked. I went in and headed for the stairs. Once I reached the top, I looked up and down the hallway. The place was a mess. Boxes stacked everywhere, papers scattered, cat shit nearly covering the floor, soiled diapers here and there. It must’ve smelled disgusting, but I couldn’t smell. His house was so foul it angered me. I should just strangle him in his sleep or set this place on fire. But first, the video tape.
I entered one of the rooms that was missing a door. It was odd to see a cradle sitting in the dead center of the room. I took small steps towards it stepping in pile after pile of cat shit. I heard the old man start coughing down the hall. It was one of those lung-clearing wet coughs that made me want to puke. Filthy bastard. People like him make me want to murder. I got to the crib and looked down at what appeared to be a pile of dirty clothes. I leaned a little closer and jumped back as three or four cats jumped out.
I cursed and regained my balance. That’s when I noticed the pile of VHS tapes stacked in the corner. There had to be at least 30 of them in a pile next to a television set with a large crack on the screen. I picked one up off the pile and read the label. Written in black sharpie: “My Love”
I laughed. My wound started bleeding again. I looked down and noticed I was naked. I got on my knees and loaded the tape.
I turned the knob to the ON position only to be greeted by a storm of white noise. I pressed play.
The first image was a birthday banner that read, “Happy Birthday, Casey!” The tape began to turn fuzzy just before a tiny girl stepped into the frame. The camera man said, “Casey, tell the camera what you’ll be doing today.”
The little girl smiled. “I’m going to show you how to do a hand stand!”
“Very good,” he said. “Can you take your shirt off for us?”
“Because it would be fun. It would be exciting.”
The little girl took off her shirt. “Grandpa, it’s cold. Can I please keep my shirt on?”
The girl jumped.
“I’m sorry, honey. Grandpa lost his temper. Just be a good girl and take off the rest of your clothes.”
“Grandpa, I’m scared. I don’t want to do this anymore.”
“Do you wanna get spanked, young lady?”
“No,” the girl said with tears running down her face.”
“THEN TAKE THEM OFF!”
The girl was crying silently.
“John, what’re you doing?”
I spun around and looked behind me. There in the doorway stood the old man.
“I was just-”
Before I could finish, he spoke again, “John, what’re you doing? That’s what her father said to me when he caught me fucking her.”
I couldn’t say anything.
“Luckily he had caught me right as I was finishing or there might have been a scuffle. Well, I guess I was being sloppy and should’ve locked the door.”
I swallowed and noticed the old man was completely naked.
“Yup,” he continued. “I haven’t talked to my son in ten years. I miss him. I miss her… We were in love.”
I started hearing a man moaning coming from the television speakers. I looked at the screen and what I saw instantly aroused me.
“You and I are going to burn in hell,” the old man said.
“I’m not bullshitting you, kid. We’re the rejects. The bottom of the barrel. The worthless scum on the bottom of society’s shit-caked boots. We were never meant to be born. Hell, I died long ago but my shitty luck kept me here. ”
“Hell isn’t real,” I said.
The old man laughed. “You don’t have to believe in it for it to be real. But I can assure you it’s very real. I’ll be there pretty soon myself.”
“Hey, kid!” the television said.
I looked at the picture but it was just more white noise. “Hey, kid!”
“What is this?” I asked.
The old man walked out of the room but I heard him say, “It’s your reckoning.”
I looked back at the television, but it was turned off. The knob was still in the ON position.
“Kid! Come here, quick!” The voice now sounded like it was in the room with me.
“Where? Where do I go?” I said.
“Over here, just a little closer.”
The deep voice came from all sides. I felt a sting on my arm and noticed the blood gushing out, soaking the wood floor. My teeth. One by one they were falling out of my mouth. I screamed. The agonizing pain made me shake. I went to pick them up and my fingernails were torn off. I screamed so loud my throat started bleeding.
The pain was like a hot white light electrocuting my every sense.
My hair was falling out.
I felt my ribs crack.
My right arm snapped in half.
“Come here, kid. Hurry!” and then laughter.
The room was spinning and I felt like puking. “Stop,” I said. “Please, I’ll do anything. Please. Just stop.”
Laughter filled the entire room. I opened my eyes only to be staring into the eyes of everyone I knew. My family, old friends, my neighbors, cell mates, coworkers, ex girlfriends. They were all there looking down at me. Hundreds of heads looking down and laughing. They started to vomit all over my body. I writhed in blood and puke. Leave me alone, I heard myself say. Go away. Just leave me alone. But my lips couldn’t move.
“Get ready, kid. You’re about to go on a journey of a lifetime.”
“But I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
“Who would you say goodbye to? You have nobody!”
All the heads roared with laughter. I noticed some of them didn’t have eyes. Their skin was changing. The room was changing.
I was on fire.
“No! Please no!” I screamed.
It hurts so bad. I can’t stand it. Somebody save me. I need help. I could feel the skin of my face tighten up and crack. My stomach was blistering and the skin tearing itself apart. My screams were swallowed up by the dozens of screams from all around me.
I laid there by myself screaming for just one person to be by my side while I burned in this house of fire.
Then there was no sound. I couldn’t close my eyes because the eyelids were burned off. I stared into the empty faces of people I’ve never met. They were burning just as I was. They screamed, but I could not hear them.
I watched my chest crack open, the fat crackling and dripping to the floor. My flesh fell in globs. I struggled for air and swallowed fire.
I sink in an ocean of flame. Hands reach out to save me, but they’re always just out of reach. A tunnel of hands grabbing at me, each pulling off a chunk of flesh.
This is liberation. Pull off my mask and let me be reborn.
I want to add a disclaimer before you read any further. I’ve gained some of my followers through my simple rants on film and life. This particular post goes a little deeper and is a bit darker than my other posts so it’s understandable that some may find it unsettling and quite possibly depressing.
Lately I’ve been thinking more and more about what Hell would be like if it were real. If you had the chance to see it, would you want to? If you could spend a day there, would you go? Of course, many would instantly turn down such an opportunity. Personally, I wouldn’t be too fond of constant torture and unimaginable torment. If I were able to visit Hell without the painful repercussions, I’d be there in a flash.
Then again, Hell simply wouldn’t be Hell if you didn’t experience it. I believe such a place is beyond our comprehension and to sit behind a viewing glass would be futile. It’s not something you see with your two eyes. It encapsulates your soul and grinds it against flaming spikes and peels the skin from your face, down your back and slices the soles of your feet. The most unsettling experience of Hell would be the complete molestation of the consciousness. Perhaps a stage or method of torment would be the disfigurement of the physical body—but the rules of our world don’t apply here. In Hell, you’re there for the long haul. Eternity as they call it. Your body is forever a slave to the lusts and desires of the demons and entities which reside in the deepest cracks of the darkest voids.
Driving on my way to school this morning, I spotted two crosses hammered into the grass next to the highway. I usually never think twice about these things but this particular morning I thought about how morbid it is. At first I considered the fact that such things should be reserved for a cemetery but I remembered these crosses are just simple memorials and reminders to others to be careful on the roads. Maybe they even provide a sense of closure to the family and friends. Anyways, what if we had one of these crosses at the location of every place someone has died? I’m not talking about having them in hospitals and in homes, but public places. Places that you may pass by each day on your way to school or work or the shop. You could be going out to eat and there’s a cross hanging next to a table where a man clutched his chest in horror as his heart gave out, you’re in town shopping and pass by several crosses on the sidewalk where fatal muggings took place. And how horrible would it be to pick up your son or daughter from school and find tiny crosses in the lawn, on the steps, in classrooms and in the cafeteria. It’s even safe to say you may find some in a movie theater.
I’d wish to go a level deeper and wonder how many civilians have met their fate to mortars, machine gun fire, car bombs and chemical weapons. In the United States, we hear about this type of things only happening in the Middle East or Africa. I daresay if they happened in America we’d be encountering these cross memorials much more often. And then what purpose would they serve? What could we as a people possibly gain from these constant reminders of death? Would it be an increased appreciation of life or mourning for the dead? What if it’s both? I’m willing to bet several people would argue that is the current state of affairs; we don’t need these memorials to remind us how precious life is or for us to be sad over the dead who we believe died an untimely death. We don’t need these reminders because we have the television and Internet, two excellent news feeds providing each day with morbid realities and distractions to keep us going.
Side note: If you want to be part of a community who’s really into horror, go here: http://instasynch.com/rooms/mroddish/
It’s a great group of people, friendly and funny!
David does not run
He knows he’s in big trouble
He knows he’ll never be free again
Reaching in his pocket, he grabs the gun
Slides the barrel into his mouth
Cold steel against chattering teeth
Pulls the trigger
Goodbye, David, I hope to see you soon.
I don’t believe evil can ever be extinguished
Its white hot flames forever lick the sky
wetting the face of angels leaving behind
marks of corruption that make
their father cry tears of fire
So down you go, angel, down you go
And once you’re at the bottom
you can never return home
I hate my job. And it’s not a normal hate. You know those hates where you just turn around and say, “Fuck! I hate (insert hated entity).” And you grumble and groan all the way home. Perhaps you cry about it or you journal about it, or you blog about it. But, after a few days, the hate begins to dissipate into a manageable grievance. But listen to this; I hate my job as much as Hitler loved the Jews. I hate my job as much as Kim Jong-il loved his citizens. I hate my job so much that I will inflict personal injury so that I don’t have to show up. Ok, that part’s not true… don’t call the loony bin on me or anything.
I’ll cut right to the chase… So I get off a quarter past 6 and I need some food in a major way. I’m so hungry I feel like puking and crying. The downside is that I have to take a 15 minute bus ride then walk another 10 minutes to my apartments. I put in my headphones and listen to Pink.
I step into the shelter of the bus stop and sit next to the only other person waiting. Of course, it’s a cute boy. He’s cute as fuck. I’m such a sucker for the pretty boys. You know the ones with kinda long, soft looking hair with a nice chiseled chin and perfect lips with blue eyes like cut sapphires. Always the blue eyes. Sometimes green, but, ew. His dirty blonde hair hid half his face. Luckily, the exposed part was nearest to me which made me happy. Although, he seemed like one of those emo types. He was slouching and wearing that permanent expression of frowning eyes and pressed lips. He looked close to my age, or a couple years older like twenty maybe. I pulled one of my earbuds out, the sound of traffic and tires cutting through puddles of water on the rain-slicked streets now apparent to me.
I said, “hey.”
He slowly turned his head in my direction and suddenly I was snapped back to reality. Why the hell did I feel compelled to talk to him? Seriously, why, why, why?
“Hi,” he said before turning away.
I smiled. Well, I should probably just end it here to save myself from embarrassment. I sit up and begin lightly drumming my hands against my lap. I glance over at him several times to make sure he’s still as gorgeous as I remember. Dammit! I couldn’t shake this feeling that I had to talk to him. It was like destiny crept into my body and was pressing me forward, whispering in my ear telling me to make conversation here. But why? Maybe he’ll fuck me. The thought sent warmth through my stomach and between my legs. I quietly cleared my throat and said, “Where are you from?”
He gave me a puzzled look. “Why do you ask?”
“Um, I was just wondering if you’re from around here or whatever, I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter where I’m from.”
“Ok,” I said. What the fuck, man? This guy’s playing it rough. I’ll bet most girls give up and shy away at this point, but not me.
“Do you work or got to school?” I asked.
“Why the fuck are you talking to me?”
I just sat and stared.
“Seriously, why the fuck are you talking to me? I don’t even know you.”
“I’m just being nice,” I said.
“Fuck nice. It’s rude to bother strangers that mind their own business. What makes you think I give a shit about you or anything you say?”
Oh my god. This guy is fucking rude, and a little crazy. “Sorry,” I said before scooting a couple inches away. He scoffed at me before digging into his back pack.
“I’ve just been having a bad day, a bad week. Shit, a bad life,” he said.
I smiled again. “I understand. I work over at that convenient store on the corner and it’s terrible. I honestly think it might be one of the worst jobs in the world.”
“I was talking about how my mom was murdered by my dad a couple days ago and my sister’s a runaway meth addict and I have nothing left to love. Not even myself.”
Shit. He started to laugh.
“It’s funny though.. Once you lose everything you thought was important to you, it gives you a lot of time to think. You have all this time to reflect on what it was you loved and why you loved it,” he said. “It also empties you out, carves all sorts of holes in you that you can’t fill up ever again. I just feel like there are too many holes now. There’s nothing I can do to feel better.”
I said, “Now that’s not true. I bet there are-“
I paused and stared dumbly at the boy who now held a pistol in his hand and wore a small smile on his face. The entire situation was so hypnotizing. “What’s that?” I said.
“Medicine,” he said before shoving the barrel into his mouth and pulling the trigger.
The sudden explosion of blood and flesh painted the interior of the bus stop and splashed across my face. I felt a chunk get lodged in my mouth and savored the metallic icing on my lips. Half of his head was gone, leaving behind flaps of skin and hair dangling on all sides. His lifeless body slowly collapsed to the floor as if resting from a tiring day. And in a way, that’s what he was trying to do.
I suddenly lost my appetite.
I watched the sun cook the corpse before me as I sat drooling all over myself. Another human, another delicious meal.
For whatever reason, these strange human creatures kept coming here in flying machines wearing white suits. They trotted all over my beautiful yard and sometimes even had the audacity to take some of my yard and put it in a little container to take with them. That’s what this one tried doing. I spotted him near the sand beds surrounding my favorite rock before I tore his white suit off and watched his eyeballs pop out and his bones turn to mush. The sweet mush which give the tendons a little spice to my meals on Mars.
And now here I sit watching my meal prepare itself for consumption. I wish he’d hurry up and cook already. I knew there were other hungry creatures around that wouldn’t hesitate to steal my meal.
And as if the Great Sky God read my thoughts, the human was ready for my tummy.
I was halfway through his bowels when I heard shouting nearby.
“Get off him!”
“What the hell are you doing?”
I looked over my shoulder at two other white suited blockheads bounding towards me.
“Fuck off!” I said.
“Please?” I begged.
“No! Oh my god.. Oh my god… David, are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“I think so,” the other one said.
I turned around to face them as they studied me closely. What’re they gunna do, put me in one of their test tubes? Better not. I’ll eat them. Hell, I’m going to eat them anyways.
“What’re you two staring at, huh? Never seen a martian before?” I said.
I was losing my patience. “Spit it out!”
“You’re Carl Sagan!”
How did they know my name? Too much talking, time to pop their eyeballs out.
The two humans looked at each other then back at me. Just then, another white suit came barreling around the corner in some motorized scooter.
The scooter parked next to me and its rider looked me up and down.
“Carl?” it said in a strange tone. “It’s me, Stephen, Stephen Hawking. Class of ’49, remember?”
I tore his white suit off and ate his face. The other two humans ran but I caught up with them and ate their faces as well.
I remembered. But Stephen was such a dork, I had to eat him.
Life on Mars has been a lot more fun than I expected. Hope to get more visits from humans soon.
-From a torn page of Carl Sagan’s Journal circa 1972
I fingered the carving of the bullhead on the wooden stock of the carbine, listening to the wet smacks of fists against flesh. Kevin had been at this chick for the last hour. He never said a word, only letting his fists do the talking. That is, until he called my name.
“Ed, get your ass over here.”
I stood and made my way towards Kevin.
“Idiot!” he said. “Bring the fucking gun with you!”
I quickly snatched up the rifle and appeared next to Kevin, staring down at the helpless soul tied to a iron pipe that ran from the floor to the ceiling.
“Hit her,” Kevin said.
I brought the butt of the rifle down hard against her face.
This time it met with the bridge of her nose sending blood and chunky clots shooting down the front of her face and bare chest.
I held the rifle like a golf club and swung with all my strength. The stock of the gun smacked into her mouth, crushing teeth and bone. It sounded like snapping a CD in half.
The womans head had swung violently from the blow before settling her chin back on her chest, blood still coming down like water through the gutter. I said, “What should I do now?”
Kevin was smiling. “Shoot her in the fucking head.”
My eyes went wide. We weren’t supposed to kill her. That wasn’t part of the plan. All we had to do was send her into a coma and have her body back at the house before her kids got home from school.
I swallowed hard. “But our orders were-”
“Fuck the orders!”
I removed the rag from my back pocket and wiped her blood and skin off the rifle. A thousand thoughts ran through my head. You never disobey orders from the top. But Kevin was a psycho who acted without restraint and I can only guess what he’d do if I refused…
You could dance like the seasons
and sing like the angels
A head full of imagination with princesses and princes
wizards and witches, giants and goblins
I was late to your recital that night
but it didn’t matter, you wouldn’t be there
Didn’t you learn never to talk to strangers?
What did the devil say before he took you?
Did he promise a wish?
You could’ve never known
I made a thousand wishes you had
Because maybe then you’d still be here today
and I wouldn’t have found you buried beneath the snow
I remember cradling you in my arms for the first time
I’ll never forget the last
Your face a sheet of white with a tint of blue
The tears stuck to your face
I still held you close and played with your hair
Winter had betrayed you
But I can still hear you in my dreams
the voice of an angel
I still hear you baby girl, I still do